Anatomy of Chaos

“I accept chaos; I'm not sure whether it accepts me.”- Bob Dylan

Let’s talk about chaos

Disorder, Disarray, Confusion, Anxiety, Delusions, Turmoil, Mayhem, Disorganization, Pandemonium. How do we simplify chaos into simpler terms for a better understanding of that unrecognizable and constant feeling that we fail to resolve into a resting state?

The reason behind this constant feeling of chaos surrounding our minds could be numerous and a bit difficult to be bracketed into a defined and specific terms, let’s just say our thoughts that continuously trigger reactions from us, and kindle the fluctuating behavior that we express. The things that we are deeply passionate about, and circle our subconscious mind entirely, but when those ideas, thoughts are downright rejected, ignored, or not acknowledged, or if we look through the other side of the picture, when we are unable to clearly demonstrate our feelings into properly structured sentences, this is the point where chaos builds up in our minds.

It is certainly not important, about how we quantify our thoughts into two compartments of right or wrong, rather how we should perceive them through different scenarios, which would give us a more unambiguous means to rethink, reevaluate and to have a fresh approach on how we perceive ideas, thoughts and feelings. I am assuming life as a deep complex system with reference to the theory in Mathematics to get a brief insight (Self-understanding) into the feeling of chaos.  

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash 

A theory in Mathematics states that Chaos is based on the behavior of dynamical systems that are highly vulnerable to change. Now, the dynamical systems in this context are our individual transcendent thoughts, which literally could be about anything; Love, Books, Movies, Politics, Science, Arts, Poems, Technology, Ambitions, Hopes, Positivity, Spirituality. The sensitivity to change occurs when those thoughts are manipulated by any means possible, and by that, I may assume that the change that is discussed here results into deviation in the core reflection of those thoughts. The change is a direct consequence of the chaos; it changes our perception about those thoughts, we tend to look things through different perspectives, positively or negatively, through hope or through despair, all subjective. Well that is just my fictionalized part presenting, in a different scenario, change resulted due to chaos generally causes the system to undergo butterfly effect.    

The noticeable unpredictability of thoughts in our life, is continuously erratic, you never how which irrational thought would come and pay you a visit; during traffic, at work, at lunch, in a meeting, at gym, at night where you’re vulnerable to the old memories, but it does makes complete sense, the randomness is what makes the feeling of chaos an absolute unquantifiable and impulsive in its nature. There comes a time, when thoughts develops a pattern, a constant loop of repetition, self organization, and ultimately leading to a point where we begin to live with this regular feeling of disorganization. Those set patterns of thoughts is similar to a butterfly flapping its wings in a regular motion, and changing the dynamic of another system. The change in this case is the modification in the sensibility to perceive ideas in its truest aspects without any other boundaries.      

The Chaos theory principally concerns itself with the deterministic systems whose behavior can be predicted, and there is no involvement of randomness in any form whatsoever while developing its future state. In this case, there is totally an opposite condition where we have a comparatively more problematical model, a model of “Human Life”, in which thoughts are always present in the state of randomness, but actions are certainly not, and while developing the future state of life, we function in accordance to the unsystematic pattern of thoughts triggering an action from us. Chaos in life, at any given point of time, leads to ambiguity, because we are not aware of the degree of randomness in our thoughts and until the time, the arbitrariness is associated with our thoughts, it is bound to cause bewilderment, in our actions. Hence, it becomes a tricky argument for us to predict the future of the dynamic system called “Life”.

 Randomness of Thoughts

I try to assume another approach to simplify chaos, by dividing it into two forms; External and Internal, and their collective effect on our actions. So the chaotic system that exist into the world is out of our control, because it involves N number of individuals, Multinational companies, United Nations Headquarter, Share Markets, Highly organized Science Laboratories that every day are inching closer and closer to discover the reason behind our existence, these are the points which control the outer chaos in the world.  The chaos outsourced from external world directly influences our internal belief, and disrupts its system. The internal chaos, on the other hand is a result of a more personal way of life, and is born out of our actions, be it guilt, failure, rejections, regrets and experiences. It develops because of our pretentious assumptions or thoughts of an ideal life or a world. Internal chaos is more about the template that we have assumed to be sort of a reference code of behavioral model existing in the world.

How do we differentiate between these two different worlds, which are interlinked to one another?

I guess, the one which is not on our control should be left as it is, there is no logic taking the external chaos with yourself to the bed, which probably does not even concern you exclusively. Internal chaos is a bit more personal, and tends to point at our Narcissistic tendencies. The inflated sense of self importance leads to a situation where we are our own reference code, and the degree of goodness or badness is measured through a similar point without realizing that it will lead to genuine anxiety, where a similar sensation of the flapping of wings of butterflies is felt, not like the kind you feel when you feel something special for someone, but in a weird way that will eventually lead to a more weird situation in our lives.

However, there is also a situation where we can link the internal chaos surrounding us to the one described through Mathematical theories. An initial step is in which a preserve set of emotions, are vulnerable to changes, ability of those set of emotions to evolve with time and space, and lastly to perceive actions generated through those emotions in a wide spectrum. 

In totality, it all comes down to our perspective about the way we identify our thoughts, Chaos will always be there through desire to achieve maximum, lust to expand our status, the aspiration of reaching at the top; Chaos will always surround us, sometimes we would recognize it, sometimes we will realize it much later. The more effort we make to filter the randomness of our thoughts in a specific pattern, the less distracting the chaos will be for us. Maybe I am over thinking, as I usually do about constantly trying to write and potray the feeling of chaos in to words; all the comparison to the theoretical virtues of the chaotic system is a bit complex way to understand, and also highly inaccurate, because sometimes you just cannot assume certain entities to be something else without taking into account the true nature of the medium.

Chaos is unstable, so are our thoughts. Chaos is unpredictable, and so is life.